January quickies

I'm feeling good about this month. All my pro sports teams continued to swirl in the toilet, (I actually think the Bucks are on verge of clogging the thing up) but its a good time of year. Here are my observations this month.

1) I watched some college hoops today. Thought I would check out the so-called phenoms that are OJ Mayo of USC and Michael Beasley of Kansas State who both were in action on my tv today. The USC-UCLA game was slightly entertaining and Mayo was invisible. Not literally because that would have been a plus for him, but figuratively. I hardly noticed him at all. Which pretty much guarantees that the Bucks take him with the third pick in next year's draft. Houston will have Yao and McGrady and we will have the mini-dunkers version in Yi and Mayo. And I will cry real tears...

Beasley was more impressive. Looks like he can score, rebound, and take over a game when he needs to. Ugly as a troll, but a ball player. So here are my conclusions

1. Beasley: Can do things 2. Mayo: Cannot.

A couple side notes from my bball watching. For one, is it illegal for a stud athlete to have the same last name as their mother? I wasn't surprised when they introduced Beasley's mom as something other than Mrs. Beasley. It's almost as if you need to be born out of wedlock or the product of a divorce to become a great athlete. Ever notice this? You see it time and time again. Kinda makes me bitter at my dad for staying with my mom all these years...I knew there was something holding me back. And I could have made millions and paid him back for the useless things like love, companionship and all that other mushy garbage he got from 25 years of marriage. Why couldn't he have just been a deadbeat like the other dads? I'm not forgiving him for this anytime soon.

Secondly, there is nothing like a coach sucking the ever-living joy out of a player live on tv. The K-State coach scowled and growled the whole game, yelling at his players and benching them for little mistakes. And I saw a USC bench-warmer jump up and down after a completed 3 point play against UCLA. He was happy for his teammates and happy for his team. And then he promptly got a two hand shove on to the bench by an assistant coach. An it wasn't a loving shove. Correct me if I am wrong, but don't we play this game for fun? Well, good work by that coach because despite continuing to win, every time I saw that player on the bench for the rest of the game, he was completely devoid of positive emotion. If you ever see me coach like that, call me on it, and I will quit right there and then...because thats not what it's about.

3) I am not a fan of Rick Nash. But I am a fan of this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wk_wuWmJRs. Wow. Still not a fan, but I admit that Alex Burrows or Matt Cooke isn't breaking out anything like that any time soon.

4) I am going to miss Don Wittman. There are good sports announcers (Verne Lundqvist, Gus Johnson, Jim Hughson, Chris Cuthbert) and there are some bad ones (Joe Buck, Bob Costas and anyone who works for FoxSports). Wittman was a good one. The voice of many CBC sports for 50 years, Wittman was a pleasure to listen to. Whether it was the Olympics, CFL, or the NHL he did a great job of conveying the emotion and importance of the moment. And thats what makes sports announcing good. Wittman could even make you sit and watch curling or track and field and help you enjoy them. Or at least not hate them as much. Not many can do that. When I sit down and listen to a sports contest and get greeted by the voice of Buck, John Madden or a nimrod like Bill Maas it detracts from the experience. To think I am going to miss a 71 year old man from Winnipeg who I never met is kinda weird...but its true. RIP Don.

5) Orioles update: We have signed zero free agents this offseason. Yippee! And the players I was cheering for last year have proven to be unworthy of any applause. Tejada is thankfully gone but is pretty much a slam dunk to be in big steroid trouble in the next year. Jay Gibbons was on the juice. And Brian Roberts did it once. And Aubrey Huff was quoted saying all sorts of horrible things while he body-painted a porn star on a cable radio show. (You don't even want to know what he had to say) And the biggest news swirling around the team is that they might trade Erik Bedard! Their best pitcher! In like, the last 10 years! And he's not old! But yes trade him away...and I will go down to the drugstore and pick up some cyanide pills for myself and the dog. Me for being an O's fan and the dog because there is no way that thing gets to continue to live when I am gone.

6) Philip Rivers and Igor Olshansky should shut up. Because the Patriots are going to kill the Chargers...with or without Phil and Igor. And I'll admit it, I like Brett Favre. For me admitting I like a Green Bay Packer is akin to me liking bubble baths, nail files or the music of Rod Stewart. But I like him, because he is good guy despite the jersey. And maybe, just maybe I am cheering for the Packers to win it all. And maybe I will wheel the tv into the bathroom, draw myself a bubble bath and crank some "Maggie May" while I am at it. Maybe.

Those were my thoughts for January. I know its early but we have exams, new courses and other stuff in the way over the next two weeks that will take my attention elsewhere. Seeya in February!

Wild Card Weekend

I was sitting around the other day thinking of another topic to write about on here. I thought maybe I should actually sit and watch the WJHC semi-final game between Canada and the United States and give my thoughts on it. I think I made myself pretty clear in the previous post that I loathe that tourney, but maybe sitting and watching a whole game would change my opinion. Well guess what....it didn't. And maybe thats because I actually could not physically sit there and watch the whole thing. I was bored...and soon I was as squirmy as a 6 year old in church or a Cuban at a Fidel Castro speech-a-thon. I seriously would have had more fun watching a 3 legged race run by sloths. So that idea for a post was scrapped. In it's place, we get a brief look at this weeks NFL Wildcard weekend.

Washington Redskins at Seattle Seahawks

I think this is a tricky matchup for the Seahawks for a bunch of reasons. One is that the Redskins are coming off some real nice road wins the last couple weeks at the Vikings and Giants. And they didn't just squeak those victories out, they flat out dominated. As a Vikings fan, I remember that dreary night 2 weeks ago when Clinton Portis ran all over us, Todd Collins looked like Tom Brady and the Redskins D kicked the crap out of our offense until garbage time.

They could very well do the same thing to the Seahawks.

It also doesn't help the Seahawks to have Shaun Alexander starting to resemble one of the participants in the aforementioned sloth 3 legged race. He is getting worse by the minute. I can actually picture the sloths all lined up at a picnic somewhere, waiting for the 3 legged race. And I can picture them all thinking to themselves "please don't put me with Shaun, please don't put me with Shaun"...it seriously has gotten that bad.

The Seahawks do have a couple things going for them. First, that stadium is a fortress. Like "Helm's Deep" off of the Lord of the Rings movies. This is where the Seahawks crawl back to when they have been beaten senseless on the road and power up to defeat any enemies that come into their house. Ok, so Helm's Deep fell in the second Rings movie, but c'mon the Seahawks are defending it against the Redskins, not an army of orcs, goblins and trolls (unless we count a couple of the Redskin cheerleaders). The crowd will be loud, they won't sit down for fear of death at the hands of their fellow fans, they will force penalties and Kerney and Peterson should be able to track down Collins more than once.

I think: Seahawks 23 Redskins 17

Jacksonville Jaguars at Pittsburgh Steelers

Uh-oh...Willie Parker's dead. Well not literally dead, but figuratively he's flatlined. Like my heart that time I saw Rosie O'Donnell in a two piece. The defibrillators were useless. And Najeh Davenport is going to need the Steelers to sign Rosie to play fullback in front of him if he is going to make an impact.

Sure the Steelers can throw to Ward, Holmes and Miller but the fact is that they are a team that uses the run to set up the pass. A couple of weeks ago the Jags went into Pittsburgh and stomped a Steelers team that had a healthy Willie Parker to keep them honest. Now they don't and I think that is going to be a huge problem. Expect to see Jaguars defenders peeling themselves off of Big Ben more than a couple times tonight.

The fact is this: The Jaguars are the better team. They have proved it all year and as odd as it sounds they should be and are favoured in this game on the road. They have accused the Steelers of neglecting the Heinz Field turf so that it looks like the game is being played in Ethiopia. For the uneducated, Ethiopia is to sports field management as Saskatchewan is to scenery. Anyways, they could play this game on the Moon and I still like the grouping of Garrard, Taylor, Jones-Drew and company to find a way to win.

I think: Jaguars 24 Steelers 16

New York Giants at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Somehow Jeff Garcia got married to a Playboy centerfold...you don't think he goes to bed every night extremely thankful that he has the ability to throw a little piece of leather a good distance? 'Cause Garcia looks like an Irish groundhog who popped out one February morning to see his shadow and was attacked by someone wielding a shovel. And it looks like they hit him pretty square-on. Needless to say, they don't care as much about Groundhog Day in Ireland as we do here.

I like the Bucs in this game because I hate the Giants. I think that's all I need to say. It's a good enough reason for me. And yes I have dreamed of hitting Eli in the face with a shovel.

Buccaneers: 30 Giants: 13

Tennessee Titans at San Diego Chargers

The Titans are dropping like flies. This week they lost their top TE and WR to injury. Bo Scaife and Roydell Williams will miss the game. Scaife misses with a "lacerated liver" which is nature's alliterative way of saying "I did something really stupid and hurt a vital insidey-part". I probably could not lacerate my liver if I tried. And I kind of want to try. It's not like the Titans are losing players like Gates and Owens here but that offensive depth chart gets shallow in an awful hurry. We are talking West Virginia gene pool shallow here. And thats goin to be a problem.

Tomlinson should be enough to beat the Titans this week. If Philip Rivers doesn't try to screw it up and get in his way. I really thought that when Rivers and Eli Manning were traded for each other on draft day a couple years ago that they might both end up being very good QB's. Now I think we are a year or two away from watching them battle each other in the Arena League football. They both suck a boatload full.

I think: Chargers 33 Titans 10

(and as a reward next week the Chargers get kicked into a brick wall of reality...Indy style)

Those are my thoughts. Go bet your children on it.

p.s. I couldn't leave this out. Here was the starting lineup for the Miami Heat last night, keeping in mind that the Heat won the NBA championship 2 years ago. Ouch. Perhaps the basketball lineup equivalent of Rosie O'Donnell in the two piece or Larry King wearing only the suspenders. Yuck.

PG Chris Quinn

SG Daequan Cook

SF Ricky Davis

PF Udonis Haslem

C Mark Blount