NBA Draft 2008: Initial Reactions

Ridiculous that I have not gotten on here in almost 2 months. No excuse for it other than lots of June work and lots of July holidays. Thanks to the people who sent me a message telling me to quit being a lazy butt and get something written. I have a couple ideas brewing for Blog topics, so hopefully I can be a little more regular in my ponderings from here on out.

I watched the 2008 NBA Draft on June 26th. I wrote down my thoughts on the first 10 picks but did not transfer them into the blog. Since a month has passed you would think they might be a little outdated. Well I don't. So here are/were my thoughts on the class of '08...

Pick #1- Chicago Bulls select Derrick Rose (PG, Memphis)

This pick made sense. Rose was a hometown Chicago kid who wanted to play for the Bulls. The Bulls needed a point guard not named Heinrich or Duhon. Win/win. He can shoot a little, run a team efficiently and doesn't seem like an overly pompous arse.

The little trivia tidbit on Rose said that he had a tattoo that spelled out his nickname...that nickname being "Poohdini". What? I don't know what comes to my mind slower when thinking of a thug NBA player...Winnie the Pooh or Harry Houdini. Most NBA player's are not capable of reading intense books like "Winnie the Pooh" or the other works of literary wordsmith A.A. Milne. Most of those works fall at a solid grade 5 reading level. Or about 6 grade levels above the skills of your average NBA player. In other words, if it doesn't pop-up they just aren't going to get it. (On a side note, I'll bet you could put DeShawn Stevenson in front of a Baby Einstein DVD and entertain him for weeks)

And I get that the Houdini part comes from his magic skills with a basketball, but this still has to be one of the dumbest, weakest nicknames I have ever heard. Maybe it would work on a spectacle wearing hoopster from northern Maine, but a hardened baller from the means streets of Chicago? Horrible. The only thing I could think of that might have been worse, was that Rose could have went the same thematic route and slapped on a "David Crapperfield" tattoo.

One last note on this pick. While gushing about Rose, ESPN analyst Mark Jackson described him as the guy who will tell his teammates to get on his back so that he can carry them. That is what he meant to say. What he did say was...Rose is the type of player who says to his teammates "let me put you on your back". Yikes. No thanks Derrick, pretty sure thats not what I am looking for in a teammate.

Pick #2- Miami Heat select Michael Beasley (PF, Kansas State)

My first thought when Beasley walked up to the podium was that he was wearing the ugliest hat I had ever seen. How lazy were they designing that cap? Um...Miami starts with M so lets chuck that on there and um...Heat starts with H so lets put one of those on there. And we are done. No logo, no thought put into it and no one is ever going to buy that thing. I was surprised Beasley put it on his head.

Secondly, I thought Beasley looked suspiciously small. Ok, maybe not, but apparently the guy is only 6'7" and had been listed as 6'"10 all year. That my friends is misleading. Could you imagine being a huge Verne Troyer fan (aka Austin Power's "Mini-Me") and finding out that the little bugger was actually 2'8" when you had him pegged at an even 3 feet the whole time? How demoralizing would that be? Thats how I feel about this Beasley betrayal. Its going to be a while before this heart learns to trust again.

Oh yeah and my basketball thoughts on Beasley are that he very well might average 20 points and 10 boards in the NBA some day. I see him panning out like an Antawn Jamison type and there is nothing wrong with that. The big difference is that I don't think I am ever going to cheer for Beasley. Something just rubs me wrong about the guy. Prove me wrong Michael.

Pick #3- Minnesota Timberwolves select OJ Mayo (Guard, USC)

I write guard for Mayo's position because according to him he can play point guard. According to me he cannot. I see him panning out as a decent SG but I don't see how he plays PG.

Who knew that OJ stood for "Ovinton James". No wonder the guy goes by OJ? There has to be a clause in the NBA rule book that states a list of names that are clearly forbidden from participating in NBA basketball. Ovinton has got to be near the top of that list. I would guess that other list dwellers would include Dexter, Rex, Phillip, Sven, and Eugene. If you are cursed with one of those names you must shorten, hyphenate or destroy it in some way before they let you in. Come to think of it...I think Ovinton may have been the middle name of Carlton Banks on the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" tv series. If it wasn't, it likely should have been.

Pick #4- Seattle/Oklahoma City Supersonic/New Name Guys select Russell Westbrook (Guard, UCLA)

It must be interesting to be drafted by a team that will not exist shortly after they pick you. Interesting or disheartening. Apparently, Westbrook went screaming up draft boards in the weeks prior to this pick. Must not have been very many NBA GM's who picked UCLA to win the NCAA tourney like I did. I watched the kid play and though he was solid, I missed the part where he dazzled anyone enough to warrant a top 5 pick. Well now he gets to prove it in Oklahoma City where no one will ever hear from him again. Look for news on Westbrook on the back page of the local Oklahoma papers right under the statistics from the local goat riding leagues.

Pick #5- Memphis Grizzlies select Kevin Love (PF, UCLA)

I liked this pick. I like anyone who can chuck a basketball from one end of the court to the other and see it go through the hoop is cool with me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1z2sFmrR7bc
He also did this in Grade 8!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZpljX-jnFk&feature=related

The Grizzlies almost had to pick him based on cool factor alone. Not only do they get a starting forward but I am pretty sure he could run the halftime show as well. Maybe some chainsaw juggling or something. If the Grizzlies make this work, I will buy season tickets. And thats from 3000km away.

I really wanted to see Love become a Milwaukee Buck but I didn't think that was going to happen, so he might as well go to Memphis where he can never, ever hurt us.

Note: Love and Mayo were swapped for each other on draft day. I think it was probably for the best. Love doesn't look as pale surrounded by Minnesotans and Mayo will now not freeze to death or be eaten by real wolves. Everybody wins.

Note 2: About this point in the draft, I flipped over to the CFL opener of my beloved Hamilton Tiger-Cats. For those that don't know, the Ti-Cats are stuck in a revolving film reel where they play the part of Charlie Brown in that scene where that little witch keeps pulling the football away when he wants to kick it. You know its kind of funny, but its also really sad.

Well, on draft night I flipped over to find the Ti-Cats already down 10-0 early and Canadian "comedian" (and I use that term as loosely as humanly possible) Martin Short doing guest commentary in the booth. Needless to say, I puked in my mouth a little. The football was bad enough without a Martin Short tie-in. He admitted that he didn't watch much CFL football and I was just waiting for him to ask the real announcers how many "strikeouts" the Ti-Cats had. Well Martin, I have been on this planet Earth on and off for the last 27 odd years and of those seasons I think the Ti-Cats have pitched about 25 strikeouts. And this year looks no different. And you Martin Short are not funny! And I cannot name one of your movies! And I don't know one of your ditty-filled Broadway shows! But I get it, Martin Short, I get it.

This what I get: I started to flip back to the draft I realized the parallel between Short and the Cats and why he was asked into the booth to open the season. They are equivalents. Both are meant to entertain but fail horribly at their task and instead leave you wanting to bash in your nose with a meat tenderizer. Game 1 of the season...let the Ti-Cat festival of suck begin anew. And Martin Short if anyone asks I command you to deny your Canadian citizenship at every turn, much like Roseanne Barr has been asked to do in the US. Garbage all around. END OF RANT!

Pick #6- New York Knicks select Danilo Gallinari (PF, Armani Jeans Milan)

Well this did not go over well. The New York crowd booed the crap out of this pick. And then Danilo had to go up on the stage and put on a Knicks hat amid death threats from a crowd that looked like it had gathered for a taxi driver convention. Or a Taliban mass execution. Of course, none of them had any clue about his skills, attitude, commitment etc. They just saw a tall Italian kid that they didn't like based on how he looked. Period. And in New York that is reason enough.

Interesting that he played for Armani Jeans Milan. I was hoping to see footage of Gallinari playing playing in a nice pair of stonewashed button-fly jeans and just dunking on everyone. That would have been impressive. The fans couldn't have booed that. Why don't we have sports teams named after clothes in North America? Maybe based on the fashion sense of the particular city? May I propose: Lederhosen Milwaukee, Seattle Rainslickers, or the Miami Banana-Hammocks. Something for the new Oklahoma City team to ponder perhaps? Maybe something to do with coon-skins, or squirrel pelts?

Pick #7- LA Clippers select Eric Gordon (Guard, Indiana)

Eric said he was a point guard. Eric is wrong. Eric...you are too fat to play point guard. A week after this pick, the Clippers signed Baron Davis . Eric, you might want to start telling people that you play shooting guard. Or you will play that position on the bench right next to where Smush Parker keeps telling people he is a point guard.

Pick #8- Milwaukee Bucks select Joe Alexander (SF, West Virginia)

As a Bucks fan, I was already happy that we traded Bobby Simmons and Yi Jianlian away earlier in the day for Richard Jefferson. Simmons was signed to a horrid deal and Yi was not Yao. He sucked. And he will not get better in New Jersey. Alexander looks like he belongs in Milwaukee (read: he is not Chinese. Akthough interestingly he can speak Mandarin fluently). If Yi thought it was creepy being the only Chinese guy in Wisconsin, he is really going to like sticking out like a sore thumb on the murdery streets of Newark.

I loved Alexander in this year's NCAA tourney. He carried the WVU team throughout the tourney. He was a competitor, he tried, he cared and that is more than we can say for most of these draftees (and last year's Bucks team in its entirety). I really think we should have traded for Kevin Love as well so we can start a lineup that features Alexander, Love and Bogut. Put Paul Bunyan in at coach and the Blue Ox as GM and I think we are on to something. Then make the jerseys blindingly white as well and Bucks games against the rest of the league will look like a giant game of checkers. Or the blending process that produces the Oreo blizzards at Dairy Queen. Either way, I will watch it.

Pick #9- Charlotte Bobcats select DJ Augustin (PG, Texas)

Raymond Felton must have been thrilled to see this pick. It confirms what the rest of the world already knew, he isn't very good. Unlike some of the other point guard posers, Augustin belongs at the point. And he's pretty good. Didn't know that his family home in New Orleans had been destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. At 5'11" and 172lbs. the kid must be able to play to be a top ten pick in the NBA draft. I actually wish this kid some success. Too bad the curse of a Michael Jordan draft pick is alive and well. DJ can phone Kwame Brown and ask him about that... I think you just call the YMCA shelter in Memphis and they will patch you through to Kwame.

Pick #10- New Jersey Nets select Brook Lopez (C, Stanford)

Good pick. Brook is the twin who is tall and looks scary. He will be a Net. His brother Robin is the one is tall and looks like this
http://www.nancarrow-webdesk.com/warehouse/storage2/2008-w25/img.247963_t.jpg.

He will be a Sun or a carnival attraction. Robin described his brother as a "very big mean streak" which is good for the Nets because with the Yi acquisition they now have their pansy to even out the aggression that Brook Lopez brings. If I am Yi, I make fast friends with Lopez so that they don't find me floating down the Hudson River in an egg roll. And if being Yi's bodyguard is Brook's legacy then so be it.

That was it for what I saw of the first ten picks of the 2008 NBA draft. I enjoyed the sights and sounds of another interesting draft and we will see how this all plays out in the fall.