Vikings vs Rams preseason game

How bored was I this Saturday morning? I watched the replay of the preseason (yep, thats right, preseason!) game between my Vikes and the Rams. I figured I needed something at 8am to wake me up before a full day of house renovating. Not sure preseason football was the answer. Below are my observations including a rundown of the first quarter where the starters played.

Pregame: Our friendly Viking preseason commentators are in a giddy mood. Talking about the optimism that surrounds this 2007 season. Ok...whatever...get on with it. Then they get my attention by telling me to wait until after the break for a special game guest commentator. For a preseason game. Sure enough after the break the Vikings broadcast introduces Viking legend and future NFL hall of famer John Randle. Good, right? Except the caption under his name reads "John Randall". Wow. Thanks for all the years John and almost 140 sacks (5th alltime), too bad we can't spell your name right! We could google it but c'mon this is preseason. Dumb. Can't wait 'til next year when they trot out "Kris Karter".

The first quarter: Be still my beating heart. But wait. Before the game gets underway we get to see the new Vikes mascot "Victor" come zip-lining on to the field from the ceiling. He lands and we get our first good look at the fella. To the naked eye Victor reminds one of the middle-aged guy that lives on the end of your block that your parents warn you not to ever go near or trick or treat at his house on Halloween. I swear he has had a pictorial in "Swedish Pedophile Weekly" in the last year. I'm guessing Mr. June. Oh well...good for him getting honest work as a mascot. Is that honest work?

15:00- Ooohh, today's referee is the ridiculously ripped Ed Hochuli. Is it bad that I think that Ed has the body to start at safety for the Vikes or at least moonlight in the nickel package.

14:49- Vikes first play of scrimmage and we get to see the lineup. Starting at wide receiver we have Troy "Oops, I dropped it" Williamson and Bobby "Who?" Wade. Not good. I realize more each year how spoiled we were as Vikings fans to watch Carter, Moss and Reed together back in the day. I see our potential #3 Cortez Hankton getting ready on the sidelines. I remember him...he was an adequate special teams player with the Jaguars not long ago. Now he might be our #3. I go and check what his overall rating was on Madden '07. A 64/100. With a 52 for offensive awareness!! That means that he might as well smoke a couple joints, drink a keg of beer and then go out on the field and try to catch the ball. Oh and did I mention we'll also turn off all the lights in the stadium? Sorry Cortez, but with those rankings just make sure you run in a straight line down the field and stay the heck away from anywhere Adrian Peterson runs. I'm dead serious.

13:30- Holy wow...Troy Williamson can catch. A couple nice grabs. One in Los Angeles drive-home type traffic. Thats a positive. Last year he would not have caught that with a butterfly net.

13:20- Tarvaris Jackson pulls one down and runs it for 17 yards. I don't miss you Brad Johson.

10:25- Just realized I am still loving the new jerseys from last year. They are sharp. I remember buying a Vikes jersey a couple years ago, taking it home, looking at it and taking it straight back to the store. My man ranking would be Hanktonesque if I had donned that thing. Now maybe I can go get one and chuck it on without feelings of guilt and fear. We'll see.

9:00- Here comes the Dairy Queen starting lineup for the Vikings. First one announced is Pat Williams. All 400 pounds of him. Insert your own fat joke here. Good thing Pat is a stud. Not much new from last year on defense. Good to see Chad Greenway out there starting at LB after being out all of last year. He's #52....or alternately...the white guy.

5:15- First appearance of Adrian Peterson, our 7th overall pick out of Oklahoma. On his first run he is stuffed for no gain. Still, the sight of him out there fills me with hope. Hope of a possible heir to Robert Smith. And with it hopefully the end to all my memories of Onterrio Smith and his pee machine.

3:00- I almost forgot the Rams are on the field too. My thoughts on them can be summarized as a) Marc Bulger is boring, b) Torry Holt can book his ticket to Canton, and c) I am happy that the lsat few years I can watch Rams games without seeing Mrs. Kurt Warner and her GI Joe haircut pop up on my screen.

The first quarter ended 3-0 Vikes. Then I realized that I could not sit through four quarters of NFL preseason football. One would suffice. Vikes lost 13-10 or so I hear. Who cares? At least I killed 35 minutes on a sleepy August morning. To rip off a little Green Day...wake me up, when September...starts.